Jon Acuff from Stuff Christians Like says he's going to start posting again at one of my favorite sites of his (I'm not sure how many blogs he keeps up now, but I think it's 5). My favorite one of his is 97 seconds with God. It's usually where he puts all his serious posts that really make me think about how nice God is. Not just great, and awesome in power... He's nice too.
He's someone you'd look forward to meeting for lunch on your lunch hour, and would always be late getting back to work because He's just so great to talk to.
He's someone you'd drive 3 hrs to visit... unannounced and uninvited... because you know you'll always be welcome.
He's someone that knows all the dirty stuff about you, and yet still brings you in on some of the most important things He's working on.
He's nice. Best friend kinda nice. Because just like a best friend, when you fight with Him, it hurts worse than all get out.
Anyway, the post that Jon wrote was called "Just Come", and it was about God wanting you to come.. just come, come weary and heavy laden and He will give you rest, come broken and hurting and He will give you healing... It talks a lot about coming, just as you are - rather than waiting to be just as you think you should be before coming to God.
I won't quote it, because you need to head on over there and read it (and maybe drop an encouraging comment for him). But it did push me into writing about something that's been on my mind since church last week.
We want to believe before we pray. Whereas I now, firmly believe, that we need to pray until we believe. Because continuing in faithful prayer admiting my unbelief is what can change my belief. Months ago as part of my "I don't get it and I'm pulling my hair out" I realized that I can't allow the devil to control my prayers. I can't allow my belief to control my prayers. Some days I'll pray believing, firmly, ready to tackle the fiercest demons. But other times, I'll have to make a choice of not praying at all or praying for a situation and telling God I'm having a hard time believing for this one, but I believe He can help my unbelief.
We're children of God. Children. of. God. Forget for a moment the whole "christian" or "Christ-follower" "disciple of Christ" and "believer" forget your denomination, forget your churches name. For me, as part of my growth lately I've been focused on the fact that I'm a child of God. And that's taken forceful effort on my part to shove aside those other "titles". But as His child, if I know my Father can do something I'm going to ask. Whether He will or not has to be secondary. Maybe your dad always says no, maybe you know the answer the question before you ask it, but I'm going to ask my Father anyway. Because sometimes I just don't understand the logic, or reasoning behind the answers so sometimes I get surprised with a "yes" that just blows me away.
So, as His child, I'm working to approach Him with childlike innocence and sheer determination. I don't know if you've ever seen a child determined to get something from you, but let me tell you, they don't seem to grow weary in asking. Even if the answer every single time is "NO! And stop asking me!"
I believe my Father wants me to ask, even when I don't believe. Because I don't want to just follow Gods Son. I want to be Gods child myself.