I've been praying about my job. Simply put, I'm not a huge fan of the one I've got.
I love the people, and I enjoy the work, though obviously timekeeping isn't a passion of mine. In the 10 months I've been there, I've discovered that I can definitely do the job. Unfortunately, the only way to get it all done is with lots of over time.
So I've been praying.
This week, the district attorney called me.
Back in September, when we received notice that our office was going to close, I applied for a position at the district attorneys office. It was an administrative position that I had an idea that I'd really enjoy just because of the diversity and the field of work itself.
So she calls me up and said I hadn't left her mind since I interviewed that day, and that I'd been her first choice until someone else had come along with a bachelors degree and some other qualifications that blew everyone out of the water. She told me that the position had opened up again and she'd like for me to apply. She reminded me of the details of the job and I said I'd look into it.
Later that day, I told God that the wage she quoted was just too low for me to make that kind of jump.
She called me back the next day to tell me that the wage she'd quoted was wrong and it was actually higher.
I've spent a lot of time praying about it. As I remind God that His will is good, and pleasing, and it's perfect as well. I like perfect. But I also like pleasing. So I've prayed that He'd renew my mind, transform my mind into something that sees His will more clearly than I see my own - that I'd be able to test and approve His will as I see it.
That's why I didn't want to skip over the scriptures I quoted yesterday. Yesterday I went straight to the end of the scriptures and this time I want to make note of the changes that those scriptures talk about.
Ephesians 4:22-32That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
It's about that new man and the old man again, being a different person. A new man which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Our new man was created in holiness. It's interesting to see that in this verse, it doesn't seem to say that our mind is renewed by putting on the new man. But first we take off the old, renew our minds, put on the new. Or possibly, another way to see it is that by putting off the old man we renew our minds. Then put on the new.
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
So this is what a renewed mind looks like. It's letting go of the bad things, getting angry, but not letting that anger rule you/change you (that's why I highlighted up to the "LET NOT"- it's your choice), it's sharing the grace that you've been given with others through words of edification. (Which, ironically enough, has in it's definition to erect a house - so it's building up . I suppose, based on my little knowledge of building, that no builder builds by only ripping out the bad wood. But by ripping out the bad wood and replacing it with something good.)
I get now, why grace people are so big on grace. Because it's a beautiful, noble thing that just takes your breath away and yet confuses you with it's simplicity and strangeness. But it doesn't just leave you with grace, and the ability to sin some more because of grace. It leaves you wanting to build that house. A beautiful grace-filled house. But first, you've got to put that old man off so your poor little dirty mind can be renewed. Only then, will I be able to see that good, pleasing, perfect will of God through the eyes of His grace towards me. Because sometimes, it takes awhile to see that the will and way He's directing you too will be good and pleasing.
Meanwhile, I'm going to keep using that grace to help me get rid of the old guy I've been dragging around that is slowing me down.