It was an accident. A foolish accident, but an accident none-the-less.
I cut myself.
Earlier in the week - I'm still not exactly sure how - I cut myself. I did a good job of it too. If I had put my cut in a better place, I might could have checked my body for cancer before closing up. In hindsight, it's funny. At least more so than that night.
To date, this injury tops the charts of my very few physical injuries. Blood seemed to just pour and it took forever to get it to stop. By the time I did get things to calm down, it was late into the night, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't eat. I'd skipped lunch, thinking I would have time to eat that night, but then right after I got home this happened. So I skipped supper in hopes of sleep.
Morning came and it was time to go to work. Still feeling some effects from the night before, it took three times as long as usual to get ready, plus the new movement had started the bleeding again. I skipped breakfast.
Skipping over the long hours at work, by the time I got home my stomach was upset. I still hadn't eaten. My body was crazy weak, and just driving home broke me out into a sweat.
Sitting in my car, trying to figure out how best to please this suddenly strange body I was living in, I had my first good idea. I need to eat something.
My house contains a lot of easy, spur of the moment, junk food. But I knew the only reason I was eating was because my body needed something to help it survive. So, with a great deal of work, I ate.
I ate to live. I'm not trying to be dramatic. I wasn't dying, or anywhere close. But I ate specifically for life. I didn't eat for hungers sake, I didn't eat because it was a social setting and people expect you to join in. I ate, to live. I ate to give my body strength.
There's a moral to my story, or I wouldn't be publishing it. So keep reading.
Do you eat, from God only because you're hungry? Don't. Your spiritual body needs food. Period. Whether you feel hungry or not, eat. You might not sense it as clearly as you would your physical bodies need, but, lack of food makes your spiritual body weak, just the same as it does your physical body. You need to eat. When you're sick, tired, hurting, broken, you may not want to eat. You're too tired to eat. You don't want to cook (healthy God-food takes some effort, it's not generally fast food). Work, cook, eat anyway.
So many people are hungry, yet their spiritual diets are superficial. I wouldn't call it 'junk' per se, but a person can't live a healthy life on just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Sure, spending time singing praise choruses to God is great. But is that all you do? Reading your bible is great. But is that all you do?
I don't think I'm the person to come up with the details of 5 spiritual food groups, but I wish someone would. Or at least publish the health statement that a regular daily diet from ALL 5 groups is necessary for a healthy spiritual life.
There's always going to be a group you excel at. Some people just love vegetables and don't want meat. Some people love meat and don't want vegetables. But regardless of your preferences, variety in each category is required.
Sure, you'll grow without it. But are you growing spiritually healthy?
Laying in bed the morning after, I knew I didn't feel well. But the extent of the weakness wasn't clear until I stood up.
At some point in your Christian life, you're going to stand up. And instead of being strong and able to get up and go where you want to go, you're going to find yourself sitting on the edge of your bed, sweating, shaking, and thinking "This wasn't hard yesterday."
Did you eat?