Can I just tell you how much I love God?
He's just awesome. He is just AWESOME.
Ok, here's the story. I was excited all the way home just itching to tell this story. If you had told me something like this was possible in my life I would have theoretically agreed that "With God all things are possible". Then I would have thought.. but... um.. that's just not gonna happen.
Ok.. really, I'll tell you the story now.
Wednesday I closed my eyes and had a vision. Here's how I blogged it when I told it in a comment over at a post on Marks blog. (Read his post concerning his vision that started this whole journey)
I had a strange thing happen yesterday as well. Except I was wide awake and it ran like a movie, all I had to do was close my eyes to watch.
I saw myself on the lake and for some reason I had a tiny toothpick with which I was moving my boat forward (not an oar). But my boat was going fast and out of no where another boat appeared and my boat smashed into it. I thought, "Well my boat is going to sink" So I opened my eyes and the images of all this went away. Something nudged me and so I thought "Maybe this isn't over yet," So I closed my eyes again and instantly I was back on that lake, having just smashed into this boat. I assumed I was going to watch my boat sink so I waited. The other boat that I'd smashed into simply vanished into thin air. It didn't sink, it just vanished. And I didn't sink. I never looked down at my boat though to actually "see" my boat, but I had a sudden realization that I wasn't in a boat. But that I was just standing on the water. Something was holding me up, and that something wasn't damaged by the collision with the other boat. And that something never sunk.
The comments that followed actually resulted in someone receiving a word from God (though they weren't sure it was for me) with an interpretation. The link to the post above has all the comments if you want to read them. The only thing I want to add here is that the interpretation isn't complete, because there is something else to the vision that I want to discover. But for the most part, Beth (the commenter) burned me with the interpretation. It was amazing.
The comments that followed ended up with me telling Mark:
I'd really enjoy just sitting down in the room around people like that when they talk. Really just to sit around listening to any group of people that's farther along in their walk than I am. It's just exciting and nothing jumpstarts my growth more than seeing what future growth looks like.
Much like these comments have turned out to be. It's been a joyful fellowship even though it's hours between comments. It's been great. Just great. I could do this for hours.
That's what I wrote today (Friday) at about 3pm.
Thursday I had received I phone call from a man. It was
At 9:30 tonight we finally parted company. For the first hour I wondered what on earth I was doing there. But the last three hours I sat talking to this man and thanking God for His amazing mercies. This man seemed to have a lot of ulterior reasons for meeting with me so a lot of things were talked about. But the last 3 hours were filled with him telling me about 6 different specific visions he's had and how they've come true (except for the one that he's waiting on fulfillment). In the most recent one he saw my city of Gainesville in the middle of a horrible flood, and his home was ok, it was protected. Exactly 1 week later the flood hit, and sure enough his home stood firm, dry and protected while his neighbors home flooded.
When I made the comment to Mark about how much I'd love to just sit around with people and listen, I never once imagined it was possible. I know a lot of Christians. But I don't seem to talk to any of them. Not about God. Not about growth. Not about change. Not about impossibilities. And certainly never about this aching desire to know God better, to have more of Him, to walk with Him just a little bit more and closer.
Mark had commented
I have a group of friends who practice prophetic evangelism and dream interpretation. They've invited me to join them because I feel drawn in this direction and I've become comfortable with the prophetic in recent years. I'm also hoping to learn a lot about dreams from them.
And when I read it and I could have cried. I told God, probably in a whiny voice, "I WANT THAT", "How do I get something like that?"
Then I got in my car and drove right to it.
God is so faithful. God is so perfect. I love Him so much. He planned my hearts desire before I ever whined about it. He hears me. He sees me.
My walk is determined by Him, led by Him, guided by Him, and restrained only by me. I spent the car ride home thanking God and repenting. I've held myself back from a closer walk. I could have so much more. He's just waiting on me. I can point to so many specific nudges and tugs Gods given me. He's always trying to get me what I say I want. I just don't always cooperate.
Over at "On Becoming Truer" he was talking about "How to experience God" and I left a comment saying I had a fairly simple way of experiencing God. I simply ask Him for it. And I'm not posting this entire testimony just because I'm excited (though I am) I'm also posting it to tell you something very important.
He'll do the same for you.
Ask Him for more, even if you don't know what "more" will look like yet. Just ask Him. Leave yourself open to strange encounters (I nearly cancelled meeting this guy a hundred times because the entire thing sounded so strange). Trust God. Follow those nudges even if they seem small. FOLLOW THEM. Gods nudge this morning was to read His word. In Jeremiah. I don't know what I was suppose to get out of Jeremiah. My eyes were blurry and I yawned through most of it to be honest. But I did it. For no better reason than God was urging me to. Follow His urges. At least, if you want a closer relationship anyway.
I'm so happy. I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to get to know God. To live in Him. God is so good.